A few weeks ago I was at a Think LA conference for women and was surprised to learn new research showing a national trend that more women are staying single and not having children. It’s a radical shift from what has been the “normal” of 84% to now only 4% of U.S. households are married- male and female with 2.2 kids, and the husband works. This struck me as highly significant because it reflects a massive defection for women from the traditional model of marriage and staying at home and raising a family to that of building a career and professional development.
Now, I’m assuming more women are opting for independence and not having children so they can focus on their education and careers. As a CEO and Mom I know firsthand what it’s like to run a company and a household. It’s a delicate balancing act that is not for the faint at heart. For example it’s been said that mothers work three times as much as their partners, so for a working Mom that’s like having three full-time jobs, with tremendous responsibility. Luckily for me and other Moms we have supportive partners who share the load from laundry to groceries and incessant driving to ballet, soccer and swim classes. The activities aren’t necessarily the things I struggle most with, it’s the scheduling — making everything fit on time and within reason not only for my children, but for my sanity! Perhaps there’s an app for this?
Please note, I mean no disrespect to any women for their choice, whether it’s staying at home or working. These new stats made me reflect on my own history and the challenges women face when it comes to the workforce, advancing their careers and raising a family.
Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In and the movement it has created clearly shows that women are ready and want to move up the corporate ladder, but we need to overcome certain barriers. One such barrier that Sheryl mentions and I agree with, is that women are not raising their hands and sitting at the table when it comes to their career. It’s frustrating to know that only 15% of women hold executive level positions and that the majority of women in the workforce continue to doubt their self-worth and achievements. There are so many factors that come into play as to why this is, but I like to think that we have the power within and can take certain initiatives as outlined in the book to achieve our career goals.
It’s refreshing and inspiring to see more and more women like Sheryl lean in and take charge of their aspirations both at home and work. It’s not easy and as Sheryl mentions she still feels guilty dropping her two young children off at school. It’s unfortunate that women are the ones to make tough decisions when it comes to raising a family and work, but that’s the way it is and we each have to make our own life choices that are best for us and our loved ones.
I decided long ago that I wanted to start my own marketing and promotions agency and delayed marriage and children because of it. For me I needed to only focus on my business in order for it to succeed. Two decades later I’m happy with my choice, albeit I might be a little more tired than if I had children in my twenties, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I still struggle in maintaining a strong balance between being a CEO and a Mom, however I have what Sheryl calls a Circle, my own personal team of mentors, collaborators, confidants and cheerleaders that have given me tremendous strength and support over the years. Women (or men for that matter) can’t do it alone, but we can have it all, we just need to lean in and go for it.
